When Patrick and I first starting dating there were many evenings
spent sitting on my parent’s couch just staring at each other. It sounds cheesy
and I don’t think it was because we were so hopelessly in love with each other,
but more fascinated with each other, and with the idea that we had found each
other and everything that goes along with finding the person you are going to
spend the rest of your life with. At the time, we really didn’t know each other
that well, but we just knew each
other. It is a pretty amazing thing that
you can shake hands with a stranger and a year later vow to spend the rest of
your life with them. No matter what.
When we were engaged people told us that the first year of
marriage is one of the hardest, and maybe it was because I was prepared for
that, but it was actually the easiest transition of my life. Being Patrick’s
wife came very naturally to me, I found joy in the cooking, cleaning, laundry
and even paying bills, because they were our
bills.
It’s funny how the type of conversations change as a couple
enters different phases of their relationship. When we were dating and engaged
our conversations centered on the future, making plans, etc. Then you get
married and the conversations change a little, focusing more on the present,
such as what we need at the grocery store, and did anything good come in the
mail. Patrick recently asked me if I knew what to do if the house caught on
fire, my response was “stop, drop and roll?” With an exasperated sigh he
proceeded to give me the correct protocol, break the window, feel the
door…….some other stuff I can’t remember.
And then there are other conversations:
First the one with myself “Karen, just go in, what do you think is going to happen? You can leave
if you need to, just go in!” And then a phone call to Patrick:
Me: Hey where are you?
P: Just got home where
are you?
Me: I’m at Food Lion
P: You need me to come
up there?
Me: Yes
P: Ok, I’ll be right
there
And another day:
Me: What were you
doing back there?
P: Just working on something,
come see
Me: You put the crib
together? (Then promptly bursting into tears, because that is what I do
these days)
P: I’m sorry do you
want me to take it down?
Me: No, it’s
beautiful.
Every day, maybe not all day, but at least once every day my
husband gives me a glimpse of Christ’s love for me. When I am feeling broken
and like I have nothing to offer, he makes me feel not only valued, but
priceless. When I tell myself that such a great man deserves a better wife, a
wife who can give him children and who isn’t beaten with anxiety, my husband
reassures me that he needs me just as much as I need him, and that God gave us
to each other, not me to him, and not him to me. I am so very thankful for this
gift that God hand-picked just for me. In my wildest dreams I could not have
imagined that I would get to be married to someone like Patrick, he is so much
more then I dared to ask God for.
It seemed appropriate on Valentine’s Day to write about my
“good ole’ country boy” and what a great man he has become. He is strong and
intentional in everything that he does. He holds my hand when I am anxious and
when I am overcome with despair, and doubting that God will give us children,
his faith is so great that he puts the crib together.
I feel so blessed to be his wife.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Love.
